His Umbrella

It occurred to me this evening that I miss something. I have been watching Parenthood on Netflix. It's a show about a middle class American family who experiences the struggles of daily life and the extraordinary circumstances that make them not only diverse but an amazing yet complex unit. From the outside one might imagine that they are just like everyone else but as a viewer you can relate to each individual character and feel what they are experiencing. It makes you believe you're stepping into the scene and life of a real family. In all honesty, it's relate-able and feels real so it draws you in. I guess that's what a great writer does. They remove you from your present circumstance and place you directly into the pages of a dynamic plot leaving you asking "what happens next". 

That's where I am right now. I'm in this place that I prayed for so many years of my life. I'm a wife, a mom to my beautiful boys and I feel like God has given me everything that I've prayed for so what comes next? Do I deserve a next? Anything, something bigger than this because this, this is bigger than I could ever even imagine. After trying to get pregnant all those years and then have 2 healthy boys, do I even have the right at 40 years old to be praying for another baby? To want one more child to complete our family? Should I want to foster children that come from an imperfect world with all kinds of baggage brought on by selfish adults and people that abused or neglected the very one's they always said they'd protect? In a perfect world there wouldn't be orphans or widows but alas' this is not a perfect world. It's a fallen one. We are to care for those people right? God tells us to love and protect them, treat them as your own. In that regard family takes on an entirely different meaning if you ask me.

Should you worry about what God calls you to do? I think that he equips you for the job and just expects you to show up and punch in. Sometimes the overtime is mandatory and days are long, breaks short but at the end of the week or month you can see it was worth the effort and you are proud that you took care of things the way God showed you to do. That is amazing, so so amazing to me. If I come to Him with my burden's and my sorrow's, he doesn't turn me away. He lift's me up and says "Let me carry you through the storm". I don't even feel the raindrops under his umbrella because I know he will keep me safe and dry, sheltered in His unfailing love. Take a minute and soak that up... understand that no matter how many times you've given up on yourself or someone else, God never gives up on the one's he loves. Just show up...