Yester years... gone

Yes I'm tired, I'm cranky, sore and a bit cynical this evening but it's okay. It's not typically my nature to feel so oblique but I think we all have those days. I have been upset lately because I find myself having so many regrets recently about the choices, or rather lack thereof in my former years. You see it wasn't all but 20 some years ago I had considered attending the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Turner Falls, Massachusetts. It was a dream, a dream of doing what I always enjoyed, my 1st love. For so many years I questioned and doubted my ability to do this thing, my vision was so small. It doesn't help that through the years and modernization of digital photography everyone has now declared that they are a photographer. I never technically considered myself a professional at anything... I just did it. I love taking candid portrait's more than anything, posing certainly has never been my thing. Through the years artistic quality prints have become another love, though my favorite thing to do is study people. People doing ordinary things. Watching life unfold through my lens is so incredible. It's exciting, almost like Christmas morning when I can come home and see what amazing scene I've captured. Did I get the smile, the tears, the laughter, the pain in their eye's? Did I pause time in a still frame and capture the moment I envisioned would become a keepsake forever? It's all surreal to me, every time, every shot. Oh I don't know, I'm probably being a little melodramatic. I mean it's nearly 3 am and I'm certainly slow getting to bed this cool September eve/early morn. I can surmise that tomorrow morning sunrise will come and I'll be missing it with a gentle slumber, least till I hear little whispers and I'm hungry coming from the little bugs beside my bed ha ha. Goodnight my princes of Maine and Kings of New England.