*reckless*

Why is it that every time I set my mind that I'm going to do something, the pressure to screw up is always there. It's like the temptation is so strong that I find myself fighting this internal battle between right and wrong. I know when something isn't good for me, why can't I just give it up? It's so hard to place distance between yourself and old habits, even ones that you know you need to break. I'm reckless lately with my thoughts, with my actions, with my words. I hate knowing that I'm disappointing God, even myself. 

I need a break, time away from the constant reminders that I'm surrounded with each day. The only way for me to escape is to disconnect from everything. I wish I could just change my phone number and block off the outside world for like a week, maybe 2. I hate feeling so confused all the time. I will be fine, just need to rewire this brain of mine.