I have several posts that I'm working on and some may seem a little out of order but occasionally so am I so it works for me :) There really has been a lot on my mind lately. Finding out that I have a blood disorder has been somewhat surreal for me. Yesterday I pulled up to my mailbox and pulled out the envelope that read the dreaded word oncology. That in itself should be enough to scare me straight to healthy but sometimes I'm a little slow. After I pulled out the pages of papers that are to include my entire life history, health issues and other personal information I came to the realization that this is my do or die moment. I need to take this seriously, this is not something that I can put off or neglect. To do so would certainly bring about serious health complications. I am very fortunate to have been diagnosed early on in the disorder and hopefully knowing that I have hemochromatosis will prevent me from further damaging my organs. What damage the iron has already done can be reversible from this point I'm assuming. I thank God for my doctor who no matter how incompetent and irresponsible I am stays on top of things and doesn't give up on her patients. Dr. Lu is an amazing young woman and her office staff is incredible.
I have never been more determined to get healthy. I think that God has a plan in this journey and that he knew I needed a bigger reason to do what I should have been doing all along. I have a ridiculous amount of weight to lose. You have to start somewhere so I guess I'll start at the beginning and work backwards. I didn't just wake up one day and look in the mirror and see the pretty fat girl staring back. I guess I can't expect change to come easily or over night. It's never easy feeling alone in a journey of this magnitude. I know that there are several of you out there struggling with weight so if you need a buddy I'm all yours. Genuinely certified in crazy and happily pursuing a healthier me.
I will be honest, I had considered gastric bypass early on in this weight challenge but through the years I always felt that if I couldn't do it on my own I would feel like a failure. Some people go through the surgery and do awesome but with me, this is such a personal life long struggle for me that I don't feel like surgery would give me the health results that I'm looking for. I am not saying that surgery isn't the right choice for others, it's just not the right choice for me right now.
I have been blessed in many ways and will continue to thank God daily for the strong faith He has given me. For holding my hand and walking me through so many valleys during the toughest moments of my life. I am certain that he will continually look after me and give me the courage to face this next challenge with courage, honor and commitment. I can already feel some changes taking affect and I'm glad I finally have the desire to make it to the finish line.
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. Lorie, you are such a strong women. I personally don't like what I see in the mirror. Like you, I didn't just wake up one morning with this weight. Like you, I've had my personal life event twice and still just haven't gotten into the grove to losing weight. I want to but I'm too lazy and I love cookies. I just hope that we are able to steer away from surgery and do this on our own. God give us strength!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words and comments. I appreciate it. Trust me I don't feel strong all the time but God's working on me. I'm certainly a work in progress :) You know what has been helping me tremendously.... I signed up with myfitnesspal.com and then added it to my android phone too. It helps you keep a log of calories, foods, exercise etc. It's honestly been great. I started it this week and am really enjoying it. I also have a water carbonator counter on my phone. It sends me reminders periodically through out the day to help me keep track of my water intake. It's a wonderful app. I would suggest giving it a try if you have a smart phone :) Please keep in touch. I'd love to be your weightloss buddy. I too love my cookies but I like summer and skinny suits better ha ha. Have a great weekend!
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