This has been a great week for me. I am making some positive changes and feel good about what God has been doing in my life. There are a lot of things happening right now but I don't really feel apprehensive or worried, I have faith that it will all work out. At the beginning of the week I started using a program on my fitnesspal.com A friend told me about this sight about a year ago when he first started his weight-loss journey and he has had great success using their program. Like I shared previously, I'm a bit slow to start but slow and steady wins the race, right?
I think that each of us has to reach that point. It's a personal level of I've had enough and I'm going to do something about it. I personally feel like God has placed me here for a reason. It's never easy to deal with health issues but when you're overweight the simplest of things become a struggle. It's embarrassing to say the least. I have compiled a list of reasons why being overweight has been a negative experience in my life. I think that by recognizing how each thing is effecting me, it gives me an even bigger picture of how different my life would be if I were healthier and at a more comfortable weight.
Before I continue with the list, let me just say that I used to be so embarrassed by my weight and I would have never shared this information with anyone yet alone all of my Facebook and Blog friends. The issue is that there remains such a social stigma regarding obesity and the amount of public ridicule makes it hard for people to be honest about such things. We are bombarded daily by unrealistic expectations regarding body image. The social media has a tremendous impact on how our teens and younger population view appearances. The general assumption is that the skinnier you are the healthier you are. This is far from the truth. Without putting such an emphasis on a number, everyone is an individual and weight doesn't necessarily have to be a standard fit. Your weight should usually be within a certain healthy range but that doesn't mean that someone who is 5'6 and 28 years old should weight the same as someone who is 5'6 large framed and 39 years old. There are always sub-standards.
Here are some of the reasons that I feel being obese has negatively effected my lifestyle
1. Feeling overwhelmed by my food choices is difficult. I constantly think about what I'm eating and how it's going to effect my weight. It has taken the joy out of eating for me and has replaced it with fear.
2. I am uncomfortable in my clothes. It's hard for me to find something that I actually feel good wearing. I used to enjoy shopping, now I dread it because I know I have to go for that larger size on the rack and most likely I won't like how it looks after I put it on. It's not fun to shop when you can't buy the style of clothes you like to wear. I am a fat girl who enjoys skinny girl clothing. :(
3. Physical activity is a daily challenge. Most parents love to go to amusement parks with their children and enjoy riding rides. Instead of looking forward to and anticipating with joy the reaction of my child's first experiences, I am preoccupied with the thought that I may not fit behind the rides safety bar. Not only is it extremely embarrassing, it's devastating to tell your child you have to leave a ride because you can't fit on it with them when necessary.
4. Swimming is something that I really enjoy. I love to go to the pool and beach in the summer time. What I don't enjoy is having to find a bathing suit that is large enough to cover all my fluff.
5. Here is one, I will warn you, it may cause you to squirm: Intimacy. There you go, I said it. I have a hard time explaining to my husband that it's NOT his fault, that it's my lack of desire and confidence that causes me to withdrawal. I used to enjoy sex. Now it's become a duty. That my friends is sad.
6. Alienation: not ALIEN NATION ha ha, but may as well be. I sometimes will stay home instead of enjoying the company of good friends because I have a hard time participating in certain physical activity. I would love to go hiking, bicycling or kayaking. All of these things become difficult when you're a larger size.
7. Fear of disease, lack of self control, low confidence and insomnia all are directly related to my weight. I will go into further detail about each of these things in a future post but for now let me just say this. I do not feel that I have the quality of life that God intended for me. This is mostly due to the poor choices that I have made through out my life. It is what it is and I accept the fault. It is mine, nobody else's.
This is just a partial list and I'm sure that there are many more reasons to be unhappy about my weight. The most important reason for this post is so that others can maybe recognize that they are not lone in their struggle. God has enlisted me to help other people but before I can help you I have to help myself. Thanks for reading and please leave comments! If you really want to you can create a blog as well and subscribe to mine. Have a very blessed day. ~ Lorie
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