Savior, He can move some mountains....

There is a purpose for each of us and if you believe that I promise you there is nothing in this world that will keep it from coming to pass. If you know in your heart, because trust me, it has happened to me, God will make it happen. All you have to do is believe and allow him to use you for his purpose. Just be sure when it happens you give God the glory and remember to thank him each day for the blessings in your life.

Many of you may know of my struggle with infertility. John and I tried for 11 years after my ectopic's to become pregnant with no success. We went through 3 failed insemination's at Keesler Air Force base at which point I became even more depressed and almost gave up complete hope. Something was in my heart though and I knew God wasn't finished with me quite yet. You see I kept asking God, why Lord would you put this desire in my heart to be a mother, to have me feel it and desire it so badly that it is slowly eating away at my spirit. If you gave me this desire God I know it's for a purpose and I'm trusting that you will make things right, that you will allow this to happen. I know this because I feel it.

I hung onto that dream, I kept pursuing God and challenging him to show me his greatness. Does that sound awful? Well God desires for us to have faith, for us to continually come before him in prayer. I felt led to the cross each day and I do believe that I prayed every single day for God to use me and for him to answer my prayers. Who was I to debate what God put in my heart so strongly? 

I remember the drugs.... oh the injections. I remember when the IVF nurse said to John he needed to practice like putting a dart in an orange with the needles. I thought, is she nuts???? She has no clue what he could do to me with those things. I was so nervous, so horribly scared of needles and now I had to depend on John to give me 3-6 injections each day for the next several weeks. Well he did great. Every day he would give me my shots and he became a pro at it. I had to give myself 2 a day as well and eventually I got used to doing them. Then the progesterone came.... ah the wicked one! That shot was so horrible and painful each time. You had to massage it and it it went in the butt. I had bruises all over but I did it. The day finally came. I knew in my heart before I even tested. I knew I was pregnant. In fact I felt like the day I came home from the IVF that I was pregnant. My heart just knew. A few days would pass and I started feeling more myself after the procedure. At about a week after I started feeling a strong desire to test. I put it off for another week and on May 18th I bought a home pregnancy test. I was feeling nauseous and knew something was up. Sure enough, it was positive. I called the IVF clinic and they set up an appointment to confirm. John was cautiously excited but upset that I tested so soon. He didn't want me to get my hopes, or his up for nothing. So we went to Walter Reed and had it confirmed. The blood test came back positive. So our journey began. This is where I will leave it. I will pick up from here on my next post. Just remember, when we ask God to move, he will and you better be ready to see him move some mountains!