It always amazes me how quickly time passes when you have so very little to spare. Something always needs done, just one more project, one more commitment or detail needs finalized. Lately I have felt paralyzed with fear because these moments are all so precious, I want to capture each one in still frame and ingrain them in my memory forever. Of coarse that's not possible but the photographer part of me says "Just one last shot", "Get that smile", make it count! The mom part of me just wants to crawl into a corner and cry like the baby I am. I just know that I'm going to be the sobbing mom everyone laughs at during each 1st moment and every last milestone and that's okay, I'm fine with the label. I just want my boys to know always how very proud they make me and how blessed I feel being their mom.
I think about the memories I treasure now, maybe silly little things, mundane in the big picture but precious, no less, that I have of my own mom. Things that she would do or say, gracious to a fault and beautiful in every way... and I just know that all those moments, all those goofy details she used to fret over, well now I'm the one, I am guilty of the same motherly trait's that she passed on to me. Just knowing that I have a part of her with me in that way makes me smile. My mom took care of everyone and everything. She loved so unconditionally that sometime, no, all the time, I wondered how God ever created someone so perfect, without fault (to me) and angelic in almost every way. Boy did I hit the mom lottery :)
So yes, these days are fading but with each one that passes there is a new adventure just ahead around the corner. I'm certain that I will make mistakes, I will likely make many but I will never, not even for a second, take for granted the amazing life that I've been given and that no matter if I'm here for a day or till I'm 100 years old I will never regret any mistake or decision that has brought me to this point.
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